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Welcome to Boundaries Books. Take the boundaries quiz, get helpful advice, and buy the bestselling books that teach you when to say yes and how to say no.


Boundaries Books

"Boundaries in Marriage is an excellent gift to give as an engagement present or shower gift, but it needn't stop there. I’ve been married for over thirty-five years, and it is never too late to learn new knowledge based on biblical principles. I wish I’d had this book thirty-six years ago."
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Boundaries and The Beverly Hillbillies


When setting boundaries with someone, it’s important to differentiate between what you prefer and what’s actually wrong. Before you talk to someone about changing his behavior, figure out if what he is doing is really a “bad” thing or just something you don’t like. I (Dr. Cloud) refer to this distinction as a test I like to call “Would God and the Beverly Hillbillies Agree?” Here’s what I mean: Some things are just things you don’t like and want someone to change, but that person is not really doing anything wrong. Depending on where you come from, it may be acceptable or not. For example, what is fine to Jed Clampett, the funny patriarch on the old Beverly Hillbillies television show, might be very distasteful to you. He was the kind of person who would keep a raccoon inside his house and stock his swimming pool with catfish. If your spouse did that, it would really bug you. It is all a matter of taste. In contrast, mistreating people or not taking responsibility for one’s actions or morals, both God and even most hillbillies would say is wrong. There is little disagreement about those behaviors. Before you proceed with setting... Continue Reading »

The #1 Reason Why People Hate Change


One of the most important boundaries that people have to establish is against the tendency to put off changes that they know need to be made. If you think about it, much “waiting” and putting off changes has nothing to do with “getting more information,” or “waiting until we get finished with a, b, or c.” Obviously, it’s essential to gather data and do analysis, but many people allow too much lag time between knowing and doing. I (Dr. Cloud) remember once when I had a decision to make regarding a significant investment. I had been reluctant to green light the deal because it was in an area that I was less familiar with than I wanted to be. The truth, however, was that my advisers were experts in this arena, and I really did trust their opinions. Still, I was putting it off. Finally one of them, the lead investor, called me. “We have to go forward now or it is not going to happen,” he said. “What are you going to do?” “I want to talk to David first about some more balance sheet issues, and then I will let you know,” I said. “What specific information do... Continue Reading »

7 Tips for Setting Summer Boundaries with Your Kids


It is scary how our kids can sense when we are weak and ready to give in to them. This can be especially true during the summer when kids are home all day and away from the structured environment of school. Without boundaries, kids learn how to beg, plead, argue, and rationalize to get out of their responsibilities. The later you start to enforce boundaries, the more energetically your children will resist. Here are seven tips to help you set important boundaries with your kids this summer: 1. Create summer structure Develop boundaries that you need for your family and present them to your child, such as taking time each day to play on their own, reading a book, cleaning their room, going to bed on time, etc. You and your child both need to be a part of this process. The more you involve her in it, the more likely she is to take ownership of it and cooperate in her own growth. Invite her to partner with you, even though the plan is still going to be executed if she refuses. 2. Introduce new boundaries at a peaceful time. Pick a good time and place when you and... Continue Reading »