If you’re new to this website, you may not be aware that there are 12 free teaching videos by Boundaries co-authors, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Today, we’re highlighting a really insight video that focuses on how to overcome five obstacles to creating boundaries with kids. If you’re a mother, father, grandparent, aunt, or uncle, this video will give you important insight to improve the way you interact with children. Take the next 4 minutes to learn what you might be doing that could sabotage the benefits of boundaries with your kids. And, discover new ways to help your children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews chart a course towards mature adulthood. Click on the picture to view video: Overcome Five Obstacles to Creating Boundaries with Kids To watch more of these insightful videos, click here.
There is a lot of misunderstanding about boundaries, especially in the context of marriage. Some people are against boundaries because they see them as selfish. Other people actually use boundaries to be selfish. Both are wrong. Boundaries in marriage are basically about self-control. A client once said to me (Dr. Townsend), “I set some boundaries on my husband. I told him that he could not talk to me that way anymore. And it did not work. What do I do now?” “What you have done is not boundaries at all,” I replied. “What do you mean?” “It was your feeble attempt at controlling your husband, and that never works.” I went on to explain that boundaries are not something you “set on” another person. Boundaries are about yourself. My client could not say to her husband, “You can’t speak to me that way.” This demand is unenforceable. But she could say what she would or would not do if he spoke to her that way again. She could set a boundary “on herself.” She could say, “If you speak to me that way, I will walk out of the room.” This threat is totally enforceable because it has to do... Continue Reading »
The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 4:1 – 8 that God’s rule against sexual immorality is meant to preserve our lives, rather than take away our fun. Adhering to the rule keeps us pure and holy as we follow His will. Sex outside of marriage affects us in destructive ways. We lose control of our own bodies and take advantage of each other. We become more interested in running after things that satisfy our own desires than in pursuing our relationship with God. That always hurts us. When we give 100 percent of our bodies to someone to whom we have not given 100 percent of our hearts, minds, and souls (as in marriage), then we are splitting our body and the rest of us. Sex outside of a commitment creates splits inside of people. The body is doing something that the rest of the person has not fully bought into. A lack of obedience is inevitably self-destructive in some way. The Bible always teaches morality in the bigger context of hurting and rejecting God, hurting oneself, and hurting others. All three are named specifically in 1 Thessalonians 4:1 – 8. Obedience serves to protect our lives and ensure a... Continue Reading »