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Welcome to Boundaries Books. Take the boundaries quiz, get helpful advice, and buy the bestselling books that teach you when to say yes and how to say no.

BOUNDARIES Book Series

Boundaries Books

“If you have children or grandchildren, Boundaries with Teens is for you! It is perfect for any parent of a young child wanting to prepare for the teenage years. It is so well put together that you can also use it as a quick reference when faced with an unexpected challenge that needs to be addressed immediately."
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Boundaries Blog Lines

How Conflict Creates Connections for Couples

Dr_John_Townsend

When my wife, Barbi, and I (Dr. Townsend) were first married, we used to have conflicts about conflict. Looking back, it’s kind of funny as I later went on to write a Christian relationship book called Boundaries in Marriage. Imagine watching us have boundary conversations about how bad our marriage boundaries were. Barbi’s approach to conflict was to avoid it. My approach tended to be more blunt. We’d talk about a problem and it wouldn’t go well. One of us would misunderstand, we would pull away from each other, and the problem wouldn’t get solved. One day, I asked Barbi, “When we argue, I never stop loving you. Is there anything I can do to make this better for you?” She thought a minute and said, “Maybe if you let me know you love me before you confront me, that might help.” I thought that was a good idea, so I agreed. The next time I wanted to have a talk with her about a concern, I walked in the room and said something like, “Honey, I just want to let you know I really care about you and I hope you feel safe with me.” Then when I brought... Continue Reading »

Boundaries for Leaders: Reversing the Death Spiral of a Leader

Boundaries-for-Leaders

Enjoy this insightful video presentation by Dr. Henry Cloud entitled, “Reversing the Death Spiral of a Leader.” Dr. Cloud explains how to take leadership principles from theory to reality and prevent leaders from minimizing the effects of burn-out, bad decisions, and negative relationships. Click here to watch the video Maximize your leadership potential by reading Boundaries for Leaders. Dr. Henry Cloud gives leaders the tools and techniques they need to achieve the performance they desire. Drawing on the latest findings from neuroscience, Dr. Cloud shows why it’s critical for leaders to set the conditions that make people’s brains perform at their highest levels. How do great leaders do this? One way is through the creation of “boundaries,” which are structures that determine what will exist and what will not. Discover seven leadership boundaries that set the tone and culture for a results-driven organization, including how to: Help people focus their attention on the things that matter most. Build the emotional climate that drives brain functioning. Facilitate connections that boost energy and momentum. Create organizational thought patterns that limit negativity and helplessness. Identify paths for people to take control of the activities that drive results. Create high-performance teams organized around the behaviors that... Continue Reading »

Why Saying “I Love You” Is Not Enough

Beyond Boundaries - Relationship Reconnection

George sat in my (Dr. Cloud’s) office, despondent. His wife, Janet, whom he loved deeply, had just moved out because he had lost another job. A very talented person, George seemed to have everything he needed for success. But he had lost several good jobs because of his irresponsibility and inability to follow through. Bosses loved the talent but hated the performance. And after several family disruptions because of his failures, Janet had had enough. “I love her so much,” George said to me. “Doesn’t she see that?” “I believe that you love her,” I said. “But in reality, I don’t think that she does see your love. All she sees is the effect your behavior has had on her and the children, and she asks herself, ‘How can he love us and treat us this way?’ You cannot just say you love someone and not deliver. Love without the fruits of love is really not love in the end. She feels very unloved because of what you have put her through.” If George was to have a chance of winning Janet back, it would not come through one more empty promise. He needed to develop boundaries to gain the... Continue Reading »