• Boundaries NYT Slider
  • Boundaries Story Slider 1
  • Boundaries Story Slider 2
  • Boundaries Story Slider 3
  • Boundaries Story Slider 4

Welcome to Boundaries Books. Take the boundaries quiz, get helpful advice, and buy the bestselling books that teach you when to say yes and how to say no.


Boundaries Books

Boundaries in Marriage saved my marriage and my sanity…literally it did. I’d read dozens of books trying to find a way to salvage my marriage, including several advising doing anything to please your husband. Boundaries in Marriage gives advice on how you (man or woman) can be loving but also stand firm in the areas that define your freedom as an individual, your self respect, and your dignity as a human being. This was the first book on relationships that made total sense to me and made a truly positive difference in my life.”
Read More Success Stories

Boundaries Blog Lines

How to Fail … in Healthy and Redemptive Ways


God designed your self-image to be your friend and ally, to help you make great choices, to find your passions, and to succeed in all walks of life. And it was designed also to help you fail well. This is one of your self-image’s greatest benefits. You need to learn to fail in healthy and redemptive ways, because fail you will. People with a healthy and accurate self-image don’t have a big problem with failure. When they don’t get a promotion at work, or their spouse gets mad at them, or their kids don’t respect them, they know what to do. Here’s what failure looks like when our healthy self-image enables us to fail well: Disappointment: That was a bummer; I’m sad about this. Leaning on God: I need his help and wisdom in this. Support: I think I need to call my friend Pat about this and get some face time. Learning: What was my contribution to this problem? What do I need to change? Adaptation: It’s time to swing the bat again and try things a different way. That’s how it should work when we fail. Since failure, and even repeated failure, is simply a given in life,... Continue Reading »

What To Do When Your Teen Is Struggling At School


Make no mistake. Your kids are under more academic demands than you were. For better or for worse, the learning curve is steeper, and they have to study more than we did. Subject matters are more advanced. Projects, reports, and term papers require much more advance planning and steady work over time. If you don’t build boundaries with teens early, the situation can get out of control. I (Dr. Townsend) can remember how jarred I was when my kids started bringing back homework assignments from junior high and high school. We were in a whole new world, and a much harder one. When I saw how far ahead my kids had to be planning their reports, I called my mother and said, “What do you remember about my high school days, like how far in advance did I write reports?” She said, “You wrote them in the car on the way to school.” That is what I remembered too. Most kids can’t pull that off today. Ironically, this increase in responsibility comes at a time when an adolescent’s internal world is in chaos. Along with this increased responsibility comes an increase in pressure to do well. School matters more in... Continue Reading »

Your Next Hard Thing


You have never received a winner’s trophy before playing in the championship game. You have never been offered a promotion before you excelled in your job. Your parents never instructed you to make sure you ate your dessert first and not worry about the vegetables, since they would take care of themselves. Why did none of these things happen? Because that’s not how successful lives work. It makes no sense to earn trophies before you win games, get a promotion before you perform well, or eat sweets before you consume your dinner. An attitude of entitlement, though, tells us that it can and should be this way: “You can have it all. Do what is easy and comfortable first, and you’ll be rewarded with a lot of amazing things.” It’s a lie. The entitlement disease’s insistence that you leave the hard stuff till later (or never) results in disaster. Let’s find out why. Let’s say you asked me to coach you in how to find your dream career. You are forty-two years old and a pleasant person, and while your current position has paid the bills, it’s not exciting, it is not you, you have no passion for it. You... Continue Reading »