Boundaries Blog
Why Church Can Be a Dangerous Place
I (Henry) got an emergency call, and the office relayed to me that I had a suicidal client. I called Theresa on the phone. She was distraught.
"Tell me what happened," I said.
"It's not going to work," Theresa replied, sobbing.
"What isn't going to work?"
"Telling other people about my problems," she said. "I went to my fellowship group tonight and told them about the depression and the problems with Joey, and they really came down on me for being depressed and for all the other stuff that has been going on."...
Why Your Spouse Will Fail You and What to Do About It
The person you love the most and have committed your life to is an imperfect being. This person is guaranteed to hurt you and fail you in many ways, some serious and some not. You can expect the failures to come....
Common Signs of a Lack of Boundaries with Family
A common scenario is this: one spouse doesn’t have good emotional boundaries with the family he grew up in — his family of origin. Then when he has contact with them by phone or in person, he becomes depressed, argumentative, self-critical, perfectionistic, angry, combative, or withdrawn....
Symptoms of Failure to Set Boundaries, Part 2
Editor’s Note: This is Part 2 of a two-part series.
Numerous problems arise when we fail to set good boundaries and maintain them. If we do not realize what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for, we can suffer from the following symptoms.
Under-Responsibility
People who feel over-responsible for others often neglect their own backyard. They do not carry their own load (Galatians 6:5), for they are too busy carrying the load of others. In this typical codependent behavior, people feel so responsible for others that they do not deal with their own pain and life....
Symptoms of Failure to Set Boundaries, Part 1
Numerous problems arise when we fail to set good boundaries and maintain them. If we do not realize what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for, we can suffer from the following symptoms.
Symptoms, you recall, point to the existence of an underlying problem. Few people have ever come in to my office and said, “Dr. Cloud, I have trouble setting boundaries, and I need your help in learning how to set good boundaries.” But people do seek help for the following symptoms, when their real problem is often confusion about where and how to set boundaries.