Boundaries Blog

What to Do When Your Teen Is Struggling at School

What to Do When Your Teen Is Struggling at School

Make no mistake. Your kids are under more academic demands than you were. For better or for worse, the learning curve is steeper, and they have to study more than we did. Subject matters are more advanced. Projects, reports, and term papers require much more advance planning and steady work over time. If you don't build boundaries with teens early, the situation can get out of control.

I (Dr. Townsend) can remember how jarred I was when my kids started bringing back homework assignments from junior high and high school. We were in a whole new world, and a much harder one. When I saw how far ahead my kids had to be planning their reports, I called my mother and said, "What do you remember about my high school days, like how far in advance did I write reports?" She said, "You wrote them in the car on the way to school."...

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Are You the "Easy Mom?" How to Build Boundaries with Teens

Are You the "Easy Mom?" How to Build Boundaries with Teens

I (Dr. Townsend) remember overhearing my kids and their friends making plans to go to a movie. It was one of those last-minute decisions that teens often make. None of them were of driving age yet, so they were trying to solve that first obstacle.

One boy, Ted, said, "How are we going to get there? The movie starts in fifteen minutes." His friend said, "Call your mom; she's easy."...

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How to Fail ... in Healthy and Redemptive Ways

How to Fail ... in Healthy and Redemptive Ways

God designed your self-image to be your friend and ally, to help you make great choices, to find your passions, and to succeed in all walks of life. And it was designed also to help you fail well. This is one of your self-image's greatest benefits. You need to learn to fail in healthy and redemptive ways, because fail you will.

People with a healthy and accurate self-image don't have a big problem with failure. When they don't get a promotion at work, or their spouse gets mad at them, or their kids don't respect them, they know what to do....

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Adults Without Boundaries Raise Kids Without Boundaries

Adults Without Boundaries Raise Kids Without Boundaries

Since writing Boundaries in 1992, we (Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend) have spoken to more than a million people about creating boundaries in their lives. Thousands have told us that creating boundaries has enabled them to love and to live better, some for the first time. Nothing is more exciting than to see people grow and change.

But from our own experience and that of our audiences and readers, one thing became obvious to us. Adults with boundary problems had not developed those problems as grown-ups. They had learned patterns early in life and then continued those out-of-control patterns in their adult lives, where the stakes were higher....

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Five Practices of Successful Thinkers

Five Practices of Successful Thinkers

There are several dimensions to how successful leaders think that are important to know, but I want to focus on five especially. If you want to develop your thinking, the following practices will serve you well.

1. Know Your Cognitive Style

Your cognitive style refers to the way you process information from your environment. It has to do with how you read journal articles, how you listen to what others tell you, and how you draw conclusions based on how you observe the workplace. One key aspect of cognitive style is whether your thinking tends to be linear or nonlinear.

Linear thinkers are …

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