Boundaries Blog

The High Price of Nice

The High Price of Nice

The act of being nice has been asked of us since we were tots. Who of us doesn’t remember our parents telling us to “play nice” with our siblings or our kindergarten teacher correcting a misbehaving student, chiding them, “That’s not very nice!”? Being nice is expected of schoolyard kids, adult citizens (well, maybe not on social media!), and especially of Jesus-loving Christians. But is nice what we are commanded to be in Scripture?

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How to Cultivate Joy

How to Cultivate Joy

By Jim Burns

During a difficult season in my life, I asked a mentor of mine if we could have lunch. He had always given me such great advice and perspective. This time he listened, didn’t say much, and then wrote a few Bible verses on a napkin and handed it to me before we left the restaurant. Don’t get me wrong, I love the wisdom of the Bible, but to be honest, I was looking for more....

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This One Belief Can Predict Success

This One Belief Can Predict Success

It was the Fourth of July and I (Dr. Cloud) was at a celebration that included a memorial "paddle out" on surfboards in the Pacific Ocean to honor and remember my brother-in-law, Mark. He was a Navy SEAL, a great American, husband, father, hero, brother, and a friend. Mark died on a mission in Iraq in 2008.

My ten-year-old daughter Olivia, wanted to participate in the paddle-out to honor her uncle. So, we borrowed a surfboard and began to walk out to the beach where the surfers were gathering, with me carrying the board....

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Your Child's Pain Should Not Control Your Actions

Your Child's Pain Should Not Control Your Actions

Boundaries with kids begins with parents having good boundaries of their own. Purposeful parents stay in control of themselves. If your child is controlling your decisions by protesting your boundaries, you are no longer parenting with purpose.
Terri was having problems with her thirteen-year-old son Josh not doing his homework. I helped her come up with a plan ...

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Why Leaders Need to Set Boundaries in the Workplace

Why Leaders Need to Set Boundaries in the Workplace

What do boundaries for leaders look like at work? They are made up of two essential things: what you create and what you allow. A "boundary" is a property line. It defines where your property begins and ends. If you think about your home, on your property, you can define what is going to happen there, and what is not.

As a leader in the workplace, you are in charge of the vision, the people you invite in, what the goals and purposes are going to be, what behavior is going to be allowed and what isn't. Leaders build and allow the culture. You set the agenda, and you make the rules. And what you find there, you own. It is your creation or your allowances that have made it be. Simply stated, the leaders' boundaries define and shape what is going to be and what isn't. In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow....

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