Boundaries Blog

Why Church Can Be a Dangerous Place

Why Church Can Be a Dangerous Place

I (Henry) got an emergency call, and the office relayed to me that I had a suicidal client. I called Theresa on the phone. She was distraught.

"Tell me what happened," I said.

"It's not going to work," Theresa replied, sobbing.

"What isn't going to work?"

"Telling other people about my problems," she said. "I went to my fellowship group tonight and told them about the depression and the problems with Joey, and they really came down on me for being depressed and for all the other stuff that has been going on."...

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Why Your Spouse Will Fail You and What to Do About It

Why Your Spouse Will Fail You and What to Do About It

The person you love the most and have committed your life to is an imperfect being. This person is guaranteed to hurt you and fail you in many ways, some serious and some not. You can expect the failures to come....

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The Secret to Changing Your Spouse

The Secret to Changing Your Spouse

Lynn was weary of Tom's chronic lateness in coming home from work. Because he owned his own business, he was often delayed at work. It seemed like such a little thing, but as time passed, Tom's tardiness became a big problem. Lynn would arrange her day to have dinner and the kids ready on time, and she wanted Tom to be home on time as well.

Reminding, nagging, and cajoling Tom had been ineffective. Tom would either defend himself by saying, "You don't appreciate the work I have to do to put food on the table," or he would simply deny the problem altogether ...

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Common Signs of a Lack of Boundaries with Family

Common Signs of a Lack of Boundaries with Family

A common scenario is this: one spouse doesn’t have good emotional boundaries with the family he grew up in — his family of origin. Then when he has contact with them by phone or in person, he becomes depressed, argumentative, self-critical, perfectionistic, angry, combative, or withdrawn....

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The Power of No

The Power of No

The word no has to be one of the most powerful and liberating words in the human language. No other word does what the word no does! Rather than close doors, no often makes sure that the opportunities already opened remain accessible.

Balanced people love the word no. They understand that no paves the road to realizing greatness by creating space in our lives ...

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