Boundaries Blog — Boundaries with Kids

Your Child's Pain Should Not Control Your Actions

Your Child's Pain Should Not Control Your Actions

Boundaries with kids begins with parents having good boundaries of their own. Purposeful parents stay in control of themselves. If your child is controlling your decisions by protesting your boundaries, you are no longer parenting with purpose.
Terri was having problems with her thirteen-year-old son Josh not doing his homework. I helped her come up with a plan ...

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How to Win a Titanic Power Struggle with Your Child

How to Win a Titanic Power Struggle with Your Child

In one family I (Dr. Townsend) know, seven-year-old Taylor was going through a titanic power struggle with his mother. Sometimes, she wondered if setting boundaries with kids was actually possible. Taylor fought any "do" or "don't" she said. Finally, his mom went to his bedroom to talk to him. As she opened the door, a cup perched on the top of the door tipped over, covering her from head to toe with milk....

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7 Tips for Setting Summer Boundaries with Your Kids

7 Tips for Setting Summer Boundaries with Your Kids

It is scary how our kids can sense when we are weak and ready to give in to them. This can be especially true during the summer when kids are home all day and away from the structured environment of school. Without boundaries, kids learn how to beg, plead, argue, and rationalize to get out of their responsibilities. The later you start to enforce boundaries, the more energetically your children will resist. Here are seven tips to help you set important boundaries with your kids this summer...

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Why Your Child Really Isn't Perfect and What to Do About It

Why Your Child Really Isn't Perfect and What to Do About It

Children need more than a parent who will talk about boundaries. They need a parent who will be boundaries. This means that in whatever situation arises, you respond to your child with empathy, firmness, freedom, and consequences. This is how God handles his children, and he is our model. But, sometimes parents contribute to the problem by trying to justify their kid's behavior, rather than addressing the issue.

Setting boundaries with kids isn't about "making" your child do anything. It is much more about structuring your child's existence so that he experiences the consequences of his behavior, thus leading him to be more responsible and caring....

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How to Overcome a Victim Mentality

How to Overcome a Victim Mentality

A woman complained to me (Dr. Cloud) about a coworker who would always interrupt her while she was trying to get her job done. She acted as if her tendency to be behind in her work was her coworker's fault.

"Why do you talk to her?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" she replied.

"When she comes in and interrupts, why do you get into a conversation with her?"

"Well, I have to. She is standing there talking."

"Why don't you just tell her that you have work to do, or close your door and put up a 'Do Not Disturb' sign?"...

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