Boundaries Blog — Entitlement

Surprising Ways Rewards and Praise Can Harm Others

Surprising Ways Rewards and Praise Can Harm Others

We sometimes reward (through actions) and praise (through words) our spouses, employees, children, and friends in ways that can actually harm them, even though it feels good at the time because it seems so positive. But what seems positive is not always what is best. A pizza slice or two is positive—but four can cause problems. These unwise reward/praise approaches, although well intentioned, create bad fruit. Remember—these are patterns, not isolated events. Doing these things every now and then would be all right, but when they become trends, they risk fostering attitudes of entitlement....

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The Secret Ingredients to Stellar Performance

The Secret Ingredients to Stellar Performance

Jack Nicklaus is the greatest golfer the world has ever known. His record of major wins is unsurpassed, even years after his last victory. Winning eighteen major tournaments is a record that is likely to stand for a long time. For those of you who are not golfers, that is the equivalent of more Super Bowls, World Series, heavyweight championships, tennis Grand Slams, or any other sports crown won by a single person or team. If you're not a sports person, just call it the Oscars and think Katharine Hepburn.

Of all of his feats, one stands out to me....

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How to Fail ... in Healthy and Redemptive Ways

How to Fail ... in Healthy and Redemptive Ways

God designed your self-image to be your friend and ally, to help you make great choices, to find your passions, and to succeed in all walks of life. And it was designed also to help you fail well. This is one of your self-image's greatest benefits. You need to learn to fail in healthy and redemptive ways, because fail you will.

People with a healthy and accurate self-image don't have a big problem with failure. When they don't get a promotion at work, or their spouse gets mad at them, or their kids don't respect them, they know what to do....

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How to Overcome the Trap of Entitlement

How to Overcome the Trap of Entitlement

ou have never received a winner's trophy before playing in the championship game. You have never been offered a promotion before you excelled in your job. Your parents never instructed you to make sure you ate your dessert first and not worry about the vegetables, since they would take care of themselves.

Why did none of these things happen? Because that's not how successful lives work. It makes no sense to earn trophies before you win games, get a promotion before you perform well, or eat sweets before you consume your dinner. An attitude of entitlement, though, tells us that it can and should be this way: "You can have it all. Do what is easy and comfortable first, and you'll be rewarded with a lot of amazing things."

It's a lie....

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The Cure for the Disease of Entitlement

The Cure for the Disease of Entitlement

Entitlement is the belief that I am exempt from responsibility and I am owed special treatment. Entitlement is: The man who thinks he is above all the rules. The woman who feels mistreated and needs others to make it up to her.

I (Dr. Townsend) need you to understand the concept of entitlement thoroughly ...

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