Boundaries Blog — decision making

I Am in Control of My Choices

I Am in Control of My Choices

Any time is a great time to take stock of boundaries in our lives and renew the desire to take responsibility for our choices. This leads to the fruit of "self-control." A common boundary problem is disowning our choices and trying to lay the responsibility for them on someone else.

Think for a moment how often we use the phrases, "I had to" or "She (he) made me" when explaining why we did or did not do something. These phrases betray our basic illusion that we are not active agents in many of our dealings. We think someone else is in control, thus relieving us of our basic responsibility....

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Are You Ridiculously in Charge as a Leader?

Are You Ridiculously in Charge as a Leader?

Recently I (Dr. Cloud) was discussing personnel issues with a CEO. I asked him why he thought those problems were there. He talked about some reasons, most of which had to do with the various players involved, and also the "constellations" of a few teams. But then I asked him a simple question. "And why is that?" I asked.

"What do you mean? I think it is the reasons I just said."

"I know the reasons you said, but why do those reasons exist?" I continued.

"I don't get it. What do you mean?" he asked further.

"Who is the leader? Who is in charge of the culture? Who is in charge of the ways that it is working, the fact that all of that exists?" I pushed....

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How to Get Unstuck and Move Toward Success

How to Get Unstuck and Move Toward Success

By Dr. John Townsend (exclusive to BounariesBooks.com) All of us want to be a success in life. We want a career that is fulfilling and that creates a sustainable lifestyle. We want relationships and family connections that are warm and intimate. We want to give back in service to the world in some way. Yet so often we find ourselves stuck in getting from where we are to where we want to be. If you have found yourself stuck instead of successful in some area of life, it is likely that there is some sort of a problem in your...

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How to Regain Positive Momentum in the Midst of Negative Circumstances

How to Regain Positive Momentum in the Midst of Negative Circumstances

I (Dr. Cloud) was addressing an organization in the aftermath of a financial meltdown. We discussed why so many people were feeling down, defeated, and unable to perform at the levels they were used to. (It is amazing how just knowing that there is a reason for why you feel the way you do can be helpful. I wanted them to know that they weren't crazy.) But then, I heard the words that I never want to hear....

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The #1 Reason Why People Hate Change

The #1 Reason Why People Hate Change

One of the most important boundaries that people have to establish is against the tendency to put off changes that they know need to be made. If you think about it, much "waiting" and putting off changes has nothing to do with "getting more information," or "waiting until we get finished with a, b, or c." Obviously, it's essential to gather data and do analysis, but many people allow too much lag time between knowing and doing.

I (Dr. Cloud) remember once when I had a decision to make regarding a significant investment. I had been reluctant to green light the deal because it was in an area that I was less familiar with than I wanted to be. The truth, however, was that my advisers were experts in this arena, and I really did trust their opinions. Still, I was putting it off. Finally one of them, the lead investor, called me....

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