Boundaries Blog — conflict
Boundaries Q&A with Dr. John Townsend: How to Handle Conflict with In-Laws
Question: I am experiencing conflict with my in-laws about the way I raise my children. They tend to nit-pick every decision that I make. Do you have any tips for setting boundaries with in-laws?
Answer: I know it's no fun to feel conflict with your in-laws. Here are some ways to address the sensitive issue. Begin with a positive and vulnerable conversation. Simply wait until there is a quiet moment, where there's not a lot going on....
Your Child's Pain Should Not Control Your Actions
Boundaries Protect, But They Also Do This
To see how setting limits plays out in relationships, it's important to understand that there are two types of boundaries — defining boundaries and protective boundaries. Each kind of boundary has a distinct purpose. It's important that you learn the difference, because defining should become permanent in your life, while protective boundaries are the ones you can move "beyond."...
Q&A with Dr. John Townsend: How to Deal with an Adult Child Who Refuses to Pay Back a Loan
Question: What kinds of consequences are appropriate for a 39-year-old daughter who refuses to take responsibility for paying a college loan that her father and I co-signed in good faith?
Answer: First, let me say that I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I know that it can feel uncomfortable to be at odds with your adult child.
In this situation, your first decision is to approach your daughter in a vulnerable way and describe how her behavior is impacting you. You could say something like ...
Boundaries Q&A with Dr. Townsend: 4 Tips for Dealing with a Narcissist
Question: Dr. Townsend, can you give advice for someone who thinks they are married to a narcissist? Everything seems to revolve around my spouse's wishes and demands.
Dr. Townsend: I'm sorry to hear about your situation. First off, the label of "narcissism" is not very helpful unless you are talking with a licensed therapist who has actually done an interview and diagnosed the person. People throw around the term, "narcissism," a lot and it gets confusing. It's much more helpful to talk about specific attitudes and behaviors that are problematic. For example, your second sentence, about everything seeming to revolve around your spouse's wishes and demands, is clear and specific. So let's deal with that aspect and get you some relief. Here are four tips ...