Boundaries Blog — parenting

Are You Blackmailing Your Children?

Are You Blackmailing Your Children?

"Every time I disagree with my mother, even on little things, I feel this terrible sense that she's not there anymore," mused Ingrid over coffee with her friend Alice. "It's like she's hurt and withdrawn, and I can't get her back. It's really a horrible feeling to think you've lost someone you love."

Let's be honest. None of us enjoys being told no. It's difficult to accept another person's refusal to give support, to be intimate, or to forgive. Yet good relationships are built on the freedom to refuse and confront....

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Common Signs of a Lack of Boundaries with Family

Common Signs of a Lack of Boundaries with Family

A common scenario is this: one spouse doesn’t have good emotional boundaries with the family he grew up in — his family of origin. Then when he has contact with them by phone or in person, he becomes depressed, argumentative, self-critical, perfectionistic, angry, combative, or withdrawn....

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Let Go of Guilt-Centered Parenting

Let Go of Guilt-Centered Parenting

"I wasn't there for him, so I avoided setting limits with him." Ray was talking to me about his son Brad, who had begun drinking and running with a bad crowd. However, in assuming he would solve one problem, he actually created a second problem, and now his son was worse off.

Fortunately, Ray saw the flaw in his thinking. A self-diagnosed workaholic, Ray had, from his own report, been too wrapped up in his career to connect adequately with his son. However, now that Brad's problems were serious, Ray had reprioritized his life and was making up for lost time....

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7 Tips for Setting Summer Boundaries with Your Kids

7 Tips for Setting Summer Boundaries with Your Kids

It is scary how our kids can sense when we are weak and ready to give in to them. This can be especially true during the summer when kids are home all day and away from the structured environment of school. Without boundaries, kids learn how to beg, plead, argue, and rationalize to get out of their responsibilities. The later you start to enforce boundaries, the more energetically your children will resist. Here are seven tips to help you set important boundaries with your kids this summer...

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