Boundaries Blog

How to Set Healthy Consequences for Your Child’s Boundary Breaches

How to Set Healthy Consequences for Your Child’s Boundary Breaches

As you navigate through life together, you’ll have ample opportunities to offer your child natural consequences when they cross a boundary or make a poor choice. For instance, you and your kid may agree that he can do his chores on the weekend, as long as they’re all done by bedtime on Sunday. If Sunday night comes and his chores aren’t done, the next weekend he’ll need to complete them before doing anything else on Friday night.

If you’ve mapped this out ahead of time, this won’t be a surprise because the two of you will have already agreed on consequences if he didn’t follow through....

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The Desire to Reconnect Doesn't Mean You're Crazy

The Desire to Reconnect Doesn't Mean You're Crazy

When my sons were small, they often argued and fought. Their disagreements erupted for any number of reasons, and sometimes, the best strategy seemed to be to separate them for a period of time. When it appeared that they had learned a lesson and could once again play well, I let them get together again.

You would expect that the mean one would want to reconnect and reconcile sooner than the hurt one. But that was not the pattern; there was no pattern. Both boys always wanted to get back together and play after approximately the same amount of time had passed....

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What to Do When Your Adult Children Move Home

What to Do When Your Adult Children Move Home

With college campuses closed and many jobs being lost due to the COVID-19 crisis, many adult children are moving back home with their parents. Now what? 

Dr. John Townsend helps parents to navigate expectations and responsibilities with their adult children, to set healthy boundaries, and show mutual respect. He addresses communication issues, and discusses formulating and implementing a plan for rules in your home that can work for everyone....

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How to Discern Hurt from Harm in a Relationship

How to Discern Hurt from Harm in a Relationship

Great relationships are fulfilling. Great relationships involve risk. You can't have the first without the second.

Great relationships require that you be open to taking risks—risks of being misunderstood, of alienation, of someone being hurt by you as well. It doesn't mean relationships aren't worth the risks, for the good ones are. It is simply the price of the course. No pain, no gain.

The challenge is ...

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What to Do When Your Teen Pulls Away

What to Do When Your Teen Pulls Away

Some parents fear that if they set boundaries with teens, it will cause their son or daughter to detach themselves and withdraw their love from them. This fear can cause these parents to avoid boundaries at all costs, and to do their best to keep their kid connected.

When this happens, it teaches teens that they can get their way and avoid limits by cutting off the love supply. These adolescents often have difficulty experiencing healthy adult relationships ...

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