Boundaries Blog

I (Dr. Cloud) was once meeting with a couple who had given up hope in their relationship. I knew that they were at the end of themselves. From their perspective, divorce was the next option. At the same time, I knew that their problems were curable. I felt that we first needed to put this couple's hopelessness on the table, so I asked, "Do either of you have any hope for this marriage?"

"No, we don't," they both finally admitted.

Then I said something that threw them: "Good! Now we can get to work."...

"I don't understand what happened," Todd told me (Dr. Cloud). "It seemed that Mary and I were doing so well, and then she just came in one day and told me that she didn't want to be with me anymore. She was very angry about a lot of things."

"Did you have any warning?" I asked. "Did she give any signs?"

"Well, sometimes I could tell that she was sort of pouty about things. There would be things I did that she would not like, but I never thought it was a big deal. Like when I would be late, or go out with my friends without telling her. Or, sometimes, I would cancel on her to go play basketball if a good game came up. That kind of thing. But I never thought it was a big deal," he mused....

Do you ever wonder when it's the right time to reconnect with someone who broke your trust? Do you wrestle with knowing how to tell if someone has truly changed after you set boundaries with him or her? These are big questions that Dr. John Townsend answers in his book, Beyond Boundaries.

Today, we are excited to feature a 50-minute online webcast that Dr. Townsend recorded. In this video, he explains how to move past earlier pain in order to experience the love we want to enjoy....