Boundaries Blog
Boundaries Q&A with Dr. John Townsend: How to Handle Conflict with In-Laws
Question: I am experiencing conflict with my in-laws about the way I raise my children. They tend to nit-pick every decision that I make. Do you have any tips for setting boundaries with in-laws?
Answer: I know it's no fun to feel conflict with your in-laws. Here are some ways to address the sensitive issue. Begin with a positive and vulnerable conversation. Simply wait until there is a quiet moment, where there's not a lot going on....
How to Set Holiday Boundaries with Family
When you were born, God placed you into a family for a season of time to help you grow into a mature adult. At some point this season ends, and your relationship with your parents changes from child-to-parent to adult-to-adult. The roles change from dependency and authority to mutuality.
While you are to respect and care for your mother and father, you are no longer under their protection and tutelage. Children are to obey parents, while adult children are to love and honor them. Therefore ...
The High Price of Nice
The act of being nice has been asked of us since we were tots. Who of us doesn’t remember our parents telling us to “play nice” with our siblings or our kindergarten teacher correcting a misbehaving student, chiding them, “That’s not very nice!”? Being nice is expected of schoolyard kids, adult citizens (well, maybe not on social media!), and especially of Jesus-loving Christians. But is nice what we are commanded to be in Scripture?
Your Child's Pain Should Not Control Your Actions
Q&A with Dr. John Townsend: How to Deal with Adult Child Who Refuses to Pay Back a Loan
Question: What kinds of consequences are appropriate for a 39-year-old daughter who refuses to take responsibility for paying a college loan that her father and I co-signed in good faith?
Answer: First, let me say that I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I know that it can feel uncomfortable to be at odds with your adult child.
In this situation, your first decision is to approach your daughter in a vulnerable way and describe how her behavior is impacting you. You could say something like ...