Boundaries Blog
Common Signs of a Lack of Boundaries with Family
A common scenario is this: one spouse doesn’t have good emotional boundaries with the family he grew up in — his family of origin. Then when he has contact with them by phone or in person, he becomes depressed, argumentative, self-critical, perfectionistic, angry, combative, or withdrawn....
Symptoms of Failure to Set Boundaries, Part 2
Editor’s Note: This is Part 2 of a two-part series.
Numerous problems arise when we fail to set good boundaries and maintain them. If we do not realize what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for, we can suffer from the following symptoms.
Under-Responsibility
People who feel over-responsible for others often neglect their own backyard. They do not carry their own load (Galatians 6:5), for they are too busy carrying the load of others. In this typical codependent behavior, people feel so responsible for others that they do not deal with their own pain and life....
Symptoms of Failure to Set Boundaries, Part 1
Numerous problems arise when we fail to set good boundaries and maintain them. If we do not realize what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for, we can suffer from the following symptoms.
Symptoms, you recall, point to the existence of an underlying problem. Few people have ever come in to my office and said, “Dr. Cloud, I have trouble setting boundaries, and I need your help in learning how to set good boundaries.” But people do seek help for the following symptoms, when their real problem is often confusion about where and how to set boundaries.
The Power of No
The word no has to be one of the most powerful and liberating words in the human language. No other word does what the word no does! Rather than close doors, no often makes sure that the opportunities already opened remain accessible.
Balanced people love the word no. They understand that no paves the road to realizing greatness by creating space in our lives ...
How Jeremy & Audrey Roloff Use Boundaries to Protect Their Love Story
Authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend define a boundary as "a property line." One of the functions of healthy boundaries is to protect the "property" of our relationship from trespassing. In Boundaries in Marriage, Cloud and Townsend write, "While many dynamics go into producing and maintaining love, over and over again one issue is at the top of the list: boundaries. When boundaries are not established in the beginning of a marriage, or when they break down, marriages break down as well.... For this intimacy to develop and grow, there must be boundaries."
As Audrey and I entered into marriage, we knew that the locomotive of our love would not stay on track without boundaries....